“Kurt needs a hug”

I took a screenwriting class this weekend. It was only the second writing class I’ve taken since graduating college, a fact I’m embarrassed to admit. Our excellent teacher, Ela Thier, showed several video clips to illustrate her points, and one of them was shot by a team that used that drunken camera effect that causes the subjects to dance slowly in the frame until I’m seasick.

“I LOVE it when they move the camera like that,” I said when it was over. “Why don’t they just shake it until there isn’t even any focus anymore?”

“Sarcasm!” Ela Said. “Looks like Kurt needs a hug.”

I was taken aback. Ela had a point. Sarcasm can have a corrosive effect on esprit de corps and often it needs to be pointed out and kept in check. I know this all too well because I’m a teacher, too. So when she called me on it, I chastened myself and resolved to keep my negative thoughts to myself. Besides, she was right, I did need a hug.

But I’m a writer and I care about my craft. I wouldn’t still be doing it if I didn’t. Watching a film brings up all kinds of emotions in me, often including anger - of course - at a director or writer.

So, when is it appropriate to express it, and when is it appropriate to just keep silent? I don’t want to ruin someone else’s enjoyment by dumping on art that he or she happens to love, especially when my opinion isn’t solicited. I hate it when other people do that to me. But the alternative, to sit and smile and hold my emotions in like a dog on a leash is not an option. In fact, the more I hold them in, the more cutting and explosive they become.

Ela had no intention of bottling me up. Being an excellent writer, she’s a fan of expressing one’s emotions. And, I doubt she believes that all sarcasm is the symptom of a need for human contact. But I reflexively put a lot of power behind her simple comment, and I think we all do that, especially when the person making the comment is in a position of authority.

Society is constantly making little comments on our behavior, in one way or another. It’s our job to put them in context and to act on our own needs, within reason. And my thoughts at the moment are thinking, “Not too much reason.”